By

Anette Halfon

Many mothers come to me because of problems with their small and big children: the baby does not sleep, the boy is still wetting at night, the girl is aggressive and has problems in school or the eighteen-year old, young man, who is too tired to get up and spends time in bed.

Normally these mothers come to me, after consulting with different physicians, psychologists or other advisors without much success.

Can Feng Shui help with health problems or disturbances in behavior of children? Definitely!

Feng Shui is examining not only the problem of the children (or also the adults), but looks at the cause in the innate personality and only then one can experience surprising success by applying relative small measures.

I would like to share with you some examples of my practice.

Case 1:

The mother of a lively two-year old boy came to me with complains that her son does not sleep at night. Looking at his date of birth I could see already that the child is full of temperament and energy with a tendency to hyperactivity. In Feng Shui language this condition is called: " too much of the wood element " and this causes a very boastful behavior. When the mother showed me his room, I was not surprised that the whole room was full of wood elements, from the furniture up to the wall color; even the bed linen was blue green, the color of the element wood. How can this small boy calm down, if there is so much wood in his whole environment?! I advised the parents therefore to paint the room in a tender cream tone which helps concentration and self-control and yellow-brown sheets. Since then the boy sleeps much better and wakes up only now and then. He will still stay very boastful and willful, because that is his personality, but he can at least recover and relax while sleeping and now allows his parents to sleep as well.

Case 2:

Colors affect children very strongly and sometimes a suitable wall color or another bed linen and the problem disappears. The ten year old boy who was still bed wetting is a good example. In the Chinese medicine the bladder activity is connected to the element water in the body and it was clear to me that within the little boys personality a certain problem with the water element exists and it's affecting his body. Thus I asked the mother about the color of his bed linen and it turned out that it was dark blue, a strong water color! The boy has a problem with too much water and sleeps every night in an environment, which even promotes the water. I advised to change the color of his linen into red. After one month we met by chance and the mother told me pleased: "By the way, since I changed the bed linen, the problem disappeared!"

Every kid's room is multi purposed and is going through a lot of changes. The room has to change according to the child's age and the needs of all the stages of development. A baby's room has to be differently organized than a teenager's room. Due to the room's influence on the child's physical and psychical development, this room needs uttermost attention.

1. The child must be able to see the door while lying in bed. This gives him confidence and a certain control over his room.

2. The bed should not be situated opposite the entrance door of the room. The energies entering are too strong and disturb a healthy sleep.

3. No mirror should reflect the bed. The energetic turbulences disturb a quiet sleep. If you cannot remove the mirror, you should at least cover it during the night.

4. It's not recommended to have the kid's room opposite the toilets, due to their negative energies. If there is no other possibility, you must always close the doors and create a certain kind of separation.

5. A complete wall behind the child's bed (the head of the bed) is necessary to provide a sense of security for your child.

6. If there is a window behind the bed, you should close it and its shatters at night.

7. Don't hang up any shelves over the bed. It is symbolizing too much responsibility on your child and creates a certain danger.

8. If there is any beam over the bed, you must cover it.

9. Reading lights or other lamps should not be situated over the child's head, rather on the sides.

10. Reduce electrical equipment to a minimum. A child usually has a lot of natural energy and doesn’t need any more tension.

11. Never fill up his cell phone in the child's room (or any other bed room) due to the most dangerous radiation during the process.

12. Divide the room into a quiet area to sleep in and an active area to play or work.

13. If you are putting a desk in the room, please follow the instructions:

The child should not sit with his back to the door. If you don't have another choice, place or hang up a small mirror in such a way, that he can control the door.

In many cases the children do not use their desk at all. They rather work on the dining room or lie on the floor or on the bed. Therefore the accurate place for the desk is not so relevant, particularly if it concerns smaller children. Important it is however for students, who learn for an exam and need full concentration. Then there is also the personally favorable direction important, which I cannot explain in this article. There are good and bad directions for each person, which affect our concentration and well being.

14. All the toys, games, books or other personal objects must be organized in such a way, that the child has easy access to them.

15. Take out all old or unused clothes or games. The child needs space to grow and develop.

16. It is not advisable to put a TV in the child's room, at any age.

17. Colors enhancing the child's development are: light blue, light green and soft purple.

In general: all pastel shades are positive. You should avoid chalk white or any very strong colors. You may use a strong color for some very small areas as a decorative accent. Too much strong color causes uneasiness, overexcitement and sleeping disorders.

Many children ask for an aquarium in their room. This is a problematic issue, because flowing water in the bedroom affects very strongly our sub conscience and over stimulate bladder function and kidneys, may weaken the immune system and can cause fear and nightmares.

Case 3:

In rare cases I do advise to set up an aquarium as a therapy for special problems, like the girl, who was too rebellious in school. In her case, because in her personality the element water was missing, it strengthened her self-assurance and calmed her down. The girl also told me that she once had an aquarium in her room, which she had loved very much. Together with the new aquarium, changes in food and habits and some small changes in her room she felt more balanced, more self-assured and her aggressive behavior and also her school achievements became definitely better.

Children in puberty often cause their parents despair by outbreaks of rage or other extreme kinds of behavior.

Teenagers sometimes feel a need to wear only black color or to bring into their room a lot of black color. Again the color plays an important role, but this time it is an alarm. What does your teenager want to express?

Black is connected to fear, conflicts, hardship, stress and seclusion. It points to lack of communication, lack of movement and uncertainty.

During the time of puberty children are no longer children, but not yet adults. They are on the search. They rebel against the conventional life, but have fear of the unknown, the future. Thus the color black reflects exactly their condition and their feelings. Controversy over the color provokes only more fighting. Therefore, it is advised to take care of their distress first and after that to deal with the black color.

Important is however to talk to each other or better to let them talk about their conceptions and plans, about anything, which interests them. It is absolutely unimportant about what is spoken, as long as the connection and communication between children and parents continue. The more close the connection, all the easier and faster this difficult period will pass. Extreme behavior will disappear automatically and with it the color black.

Most parents are caring too much about their children, who are as a result so much spoiled that they do not know any longer, what they actually want.

Case 4:

The eighteen-year old, which did not want to get out of bed, is an example. Because of over protection on the part of his mother, he does not need to do anything, has no obligations or tasks. If everything is provided why should he bother?

I met a nice and polite, young man, who listened to music lying on his bed. Why should he rise? His mother takes care about everything and his father's anger is half so bad. In this case I advised, to cancel all his comfortable conditions and move him into another room, which didn’t suit his slow-acting nature. Here I suggested strong and dominant colors: white, in order to enhance restrictions and authority and a strong light blue, in order to increase his energy. These are colors, which do not let him rest and dream. In addition I directed his attention towards his love for music, the only area, for which he showed interest and also some talent and from this point on he was ready to listen and permit some necessary changes.

Regarding the problems of children from a Feng Shui point of view, you try to understand the child and his problem from another ankle which includes his personality, his body and his environment. If these three aspects are being harmonized, the child will feel better, will behave better and be healthier and happier. I regard this as a comprehensive recipe for your child well being.